[Vox spends a long moment staring at that message. Working together sure is a generous interpretation of their deal. Presumptuous too. He needs an extra second to decide whether to point that out or find a way to make it work to his advantage.
[Excuse u Vox he's meaning the general we! As in that whole thing where the whole city is supposed to be working together!
Lucifer rolls his eyes at Vox's question. He knew he'd regret this. This is actual torture.
(It isn't even close to that; he's just being melodramatic.)]
Unlike you, I don't know shit about living with humans. Actual good, happy, living ones. You, however, are clearly great with people, when you want to be.
[A step towards peace. This is a step towards peace. He can fucking type the words. He can fucking send the message. Just a matter of... gritting his teeth and not... breaking the fucking device... He can do this...]
So, if you're up for a lowercase-d deal.
I'd like to learn how to be more of a
people person.
[Oh God he actually sent it (even if it took three separate messages just for that last sentence). He's throwing his device to the floor and slamming his forehead against the table a few times. He hates this. He hates this place. Fuck this place for being better than what was happening, back home.]
[Alright, the need to understand how to live with actual people makes a whole lot more sense. That, Vox can grasp. But what follows after is so ludicrous that he bursts into laughter. Just actual howling. It takes a full two minutes before he's typing out reply.]
Sure! I could teach you a thing or two about social skills and common decency. How to make the people here like you.
[Lucifer fully expected to be laughed at, so he wouldn't even be surprised if he knew. Instead, he's left with his own imagination, and he's managing to come up with a much worse reaction that just laughter.
Making people like him? Heeeee isn't getting his hopes up on that part.]
Well, it's not always bad to dream big.
Just name your price. No more apologizing and nothing humiliating. They did let me keep my ability to create things and I'm still learning the limits on it. I have been able to make things with some magic in them.
[The power of creation is useless to Vox. Anything he'd want to ask from Lucifer, he could get from Emily instead, and that would cost him nothing. Nothing humiliating sure takes a lot of the fun out of it, too.
Hmm.]
No thanks on the magic. I'm all set on resources.
Here's an idea. How about as part of your social skills training, you star in one of my media projects? (NOT porn, there's not enough demand for it here) You get to put on a flashy show, wow my audience with your parlor tricks, and I get to build my brand.
To make it extra fair, you can read the script and give notes before agreeing on the project. But you do have to star in something eventually.
[The first part almost gets a kneejerk "hell no" - even with the assurance it wouldn't be porn.
But this isn't Pride Ring, where his face would get instant hate from a vast majority of viewers. Media here is already proving to be different, and not necessarily in a bad way, given the loads of videos that Lucifer finds enjoyable.
With this being a lowercase d kind of deal, it feels a little less risky to give it a chance? The... tiniest bit safer. But Lucifer did specify nothing humiliating, and this is all in the name of Trying Harder...]
Perfect! I'm still setting up the business so it'll be a while before I'm ready for any show projects, but I'll check back in when I have a good clown role for you to play.
And I have to set up a whole lesson plan. This is gonna take a LOT of work.
[Vox's ego is, in fact, so huge that he assumes that 'weight on his shoulders' remark is a jab at the other two Vees being useless. HOW DARE YOU, SIR.]
Oh, I know I'll do great. There was never any doubt about that, bitch.
[He's not even bothering to enter a username this time. He's gotten bored with it. He's also very much the opposite of uncomfortable.]
Mr. Morningstar, are you trying to seduce me? It's not gonna work. Go experiment with those kinks in your own time, I won't tolerate it in my business.
I specialize in upgrades, actually. Out with the old, useless trash nobody wants around anymore because it's just taking up space, in with the new.
Obviously I can't judge Loo Loo Land's quality control process. I've never been. But if it's still in business I can only assume it's because there's a demand for it that any other theme parks aren't meeting.
[........................................ UGH, fuck it, he GUESSES he'll bother to make something clear.]
Uhhhh... no. People go to Loo Loo Land because the popular sex toy guy's robot version is, like, the main attraction? Took me like 30 seconds and zero travel time to figure that one out, by the way. Mammon's gross and annoying but he does know what sells. He could bottle water from a puddle the sex toy guy stepped in and sell it for thousands.
You know, thinking about it, that's probably why I hate you? You remind me a loooooot of him...
[He maybe, possibly, very thoroughly looked into why Loo Loo Land did even a fraction as well as his own.]
OK. So like I said, there's a demand other theme parks aren't filling. Have you tried releasing your own sex robot, Lu? Not of yourself, but someone who's actually successful and desired.
Unless you wanna lean into that degradation kink thing. Then by all means, give people a sex robot of yourself to humiliate.
Disappearing for a little while isn't the same as not being successful. You've only see one Ring. One that's meant to be and to stay shitty. Because that's the existence Sinners like you EARNED.
I literally built the entirety of Hell, Vix. Meanwhile you couldn't even build one (1) successful army.
I've got more suitable stuff for that. Is using tears as lube another kink for you? I am learning SO much!
Anyway, I'm willing to bet we could keep going back and forth for hours like this, but unlike you, I have better things to do. I'll get in touch about those lessons when I'm ready.
[The 'better things to do' is tending to that aforementioned recovery, actually. His body's starting to ache and he's pretty sure one of his bandages is in need of changing. But he'll never let on he's still suffering from that.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
UN: DontFlatterYourself
Ehhh fine he'll entertain it, see where it goes.]
What is there to know?
UN: WhateverHelpsYouSleep
Lucifer rolls his eyes at Vox's question. He knew he'd regret this. This is actual torture.
(It isn't even close to that; he's just being melodramatic.)]
Unlike you, I don't know shit about living with humans.
Actual good, happy, living ones.
You, however, are clearly great with people, when you want to be.
[A step towards peace. This is a step towards peace. He can fucking type the words. He can fucking send the message. Just a matter of... gritting his teeth and not... breaking the fucking device... He can do this...]
So, if you're
up for a lowercase-d deal.
I'd like to learn how to
be more of a
people person.
[Oh God he actually sent it (even if it took three separate messages just for that last sentence). He's throwing his device to the floor and slamming his forehead against the table a few times. He hates this. He hates this place. Fuck this place for being better than what was happening, back home.]
UN: RealCreative
Sure! I could teach you a thing or two about social skills and common decency. How to make the people here like you.
What's in it for me?
UN: BiteMe
Making people like him? Heeeee isn't getting his hopes up on that part.]
Well, it's not always bad to dream big.
Just name your price. No more apologizing and nothing humiliating.
They did let me keep my ability to create things and I'm still learning the limits on it. I have been able to make things with some magic in them.
UN: IfIWantedCheapJunkfoodIdGetABurger
Hmm.]
No thanks on the magic. I'm all set on resources.
Here's an idea. How about as part of your social skills training, you star in one of my media projects?
(NOT porn, there's not enough demand for it here)
You get to put on a flashy show, wow my audience with your parlor tricks, and I get to build my brand.
To make it extra fair, you can read the script and give notes before agreeing on the project. But you do have to star in something eventually.
UN: WhateverYouSayVicky
But this isn't Pride Ring, where his face would get instant hate from a vast majority of viewers. Media here is already proving to be different, and not necessarily in a bad way, given the loads of videos that Lucifer finds enjoyable.
With this being a lowercase d kind of deal, it feels a little less risky to give it a chance? The... tiniest bit safer. But Lucifer did specify nothing humiliating, and this is all in the name of Trying Harder...]
Mmmm...
Fine.
One media project.
[He is prepared to feel some form of regret.]
UN: :)
I'm still setting up the business so it'll be a while before I'm ready for any show projects, but I'll check back in when I have a good clown role for you to play.
And I have to set up a whole lesson plan. This is gonna take a LOT of work.
UN: :/
[He is a ringleader, you bitch. Ringleader.]
Well, hey, great thing you're used to lots of weight on your shoulders~
I'm sure you'll do just fine.
[Lugging such a huge ego around all the time isn't for the weak-willed.]
UN: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
[Vox's ego is, in fact, so huge that he assumes that 'weight on his shoulders' remark is a jab at the other two Vees being useless. HOW DARE YOU, SIR.]
Oh, I know I'll do great. There was never any doubt about that, bitch.
UN: :/
Not exactly a kink I was interested in, but I'll try anything once.
[He's just aiming to make it a little more uncomfortable for Vox, as "thanks" for this truly golden opportunity.]
Sheesh. You seriously that sensitive about your ego?
UN:
Mr. Morningstar, are you trying to seduce me?
It's not gonna work. Go experiment with those kinks in your own time, I won't tolerate it in my business.
And no, I'm not. I'm stating facts.
UN:
Oh please.
If I wanted to seduce you, I'd have already suceeded by now.
Uh huh. Whateeeeever you say, Vixen.
UN:
That's it, that's the reply.]
UN:
The embodiment of maturity.
[Will they ever stop being the pot and kettle about some things? Tune in to find out.]
UN:
No, no. It was really fucking FUNNY.
Maybe if you work hard enough I can promote you from clown to stand up comedian!
UN:
UN:
[
with a little boost, that flicker can glow exponential(ly)]UN:
[A place built and managed so well, he would argue, that it's stayed top-selling even with him going MIA...
if he even fucking bothered to check in on it, to actually find out that's the case!]
UN:
[He knows damn well Lucifer is talking about Lu Lu World, of course.]
UN:
It really specializes in
[He very, very pointedly pauses, like he would if they were in-person.]
cheap knockoffs and copycats.
UN:
Out with the old, useless trash nobody wants around anymore because it's just taking up space, in with the new.
Obviously I can't judge Loo Loo Land's quality control process. I've never been. But if it's still in business I can only assume it's because there's a demand for it that any other theme parks aren't meeting.
UN:
Uhhhh... no.
People go to Loo Loo Land because the popular sex toy guy's robot version is, like, the main attraction?
Took me like 30 seconds and zero travel time to figure that one out, by the way.
Mammon's gross and annoying but he does know what sells. He could bottle water from a puddle the sex toy guy stepped in and sell it for thousands.
You know, thinking about it, that's probably why I hate you?
You remind me a loooooot of him...
[He maybe, possibly, very thoroughly looked into why Loo Loo Land did even a fraction as well as his own.]
UN:
Unless you wanna lean into that degradation kink thing. Then by all means, give people a sex robot of yourself to humiliate.
[Vox is so Mammon-flavored.]
UN:
[Stop! Poking! That wound!]
Disappearing for a little while isn't the same as not being successful.
You've only see one Ring.
One that's meant to be and to stay shitty.
Because that's the existence Sinners like you EARNED.
I literally built the entirety of Hell, Vix. Meanwhile you couldn't even build one (1) successful army.
UN:
I'm so tormented!!!!
literally crying as I type this!!
my poor fucking FEELINGS!!!!
Be right back, going to go suck a fat one to cheer myself up
UN:
Now you can use those tears to go fuck yourself.
UN:
Is using tears as lube another kink for you? I am learning SO much!
Anyway, I'm willing to bet we could keep going back and forth for hours like this, but unlike you, I have better things to do. I'll get in touch about those lessons when I'm ready.
[The 'better things to do' is tending to that aforementioned recovery, actually. His body's starting to ache and he's pretty sure one of his bandages is in need of changing. But he'll never let on he's still suffering from that.]